Today is one of those days as a parent that you think, "Why? Why did I ever think having a kid was a good idea? Seriously. Who's bright ass idea was this!?" Layla has deemed today to be "Volcanic Meltdown Day". It hasn't been pretty.
Today we were SUPPOSED to take Tim's uniforms in to have patches sewn on, get the brakes on the car done, clean the kitchen, Layla needs to clean her room, and we are going to the DMV this afternoon. It's after 11 am and what have we accomplished? Oh that's right a big FAT NOTHING! I did dishes... that's about as far as I got.
The best part is the arguments are nonsensical. They say you can't argue with crazy, you also cannot argue with 3 year old logic. An example: "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR MY FLOWER SHIRT! 'CAUSE **MARCO'S BABY SISTER CRIES!!"
**Marco is Layla's imaginary friend that lives in the sky. While Marco is a "kid" he has a baby sister who is an elephant, yes, an ELEPHANT. Her name? "Baby Sister." Duh! And apparently said baby sister elephant cries at the thought of my child wearing a flower shirt. *SIGH* Whiny ass bitch elephant baby.
However, the inspiration for this post came from another melt down. When cleaning house I put Pandora Radio on the living room stereo and go about my day. Layla wanted the Glee Cast station, I wanted Foo Fighters. I'm the Momma. I win.
A few songs in The Counting Crow's "Hangin Around" came on. Let me start by saying I can't freaking stand The Counting Crows, and "Hangin' Around" is like nails on a chalkboard to me. The singer sounds like a dying seal. Now, the lovely thing about Pandora is I can opt to "Dislike" and skip the song, right? But in the mean time Layla comes running in demanding I change it. Uhmmm.... Excuse me? So I tell her that she's being very rude and you don't order around your Momma. She throws herself to the ground and starts screaming and crying. HELL. NO. Not only did I NOT change the song, I sat down next to her and started singing along at the top of my lungs like this was my freaking JAM! (BTW Why do you always know the words to songs you hate? lol) She eventually stopped the screaming and stared at me like I'd lost my damn mind. And, hey, let's face it, I probably have. But I got my point across. Was it the immature way to handle the situation? Yup, it sure was; But sometimes you have to throw Parenting 101 out the window and resort to alternative methods.
The whole situation reminded me of something my best friend and I discovered when we were teenagers. Several of our girlfriends babysat for the same family. They had 3 children, 2 girls and a boy, all under the age of 6. At one point or another, we all encountered the "Pink Cup Dilemma." There was a set of kid's plastic cups in all different colors, obviously one of them was pink. The situation always went the same: Kids say they are hungry. Babysitter announces she will make lunch/dinner/snack/whatever. When babysitter reaches the point of asking what the kids want to drink all three children come running, pushing, and screaming that they each want "the pink cup!" Even the little boy (because his sister's are so adamant that they get this damn pink cup). It was how each babysitter handled the situation that we joked perfectly summed up how we each saw ourselves as parents when we got older.
Babysitter #1 (Susan): "If you are going to fight about it, then I think no one should get the pink cup."
Babysitter #2 (Jamie): "*Oldest child* can have the cup this time, then *second oldest*, etc."
Babysitter #3 (Christina): "*Second oldest* asked me first, so she gets it this time."
Babysitter #4 (MOI!): "Uhmm... If the pink cup is seriously that cool, it's MINE. Problem solved. haha."
I like to think I've grown up a lot since then, but today just proved to me I still subscribe to my Pink Cup style of parenting. My kid is gonna need therapy. Whoops. :)
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